Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Naked Potty Training AKA Survival of the Fittest

If you have toddlers, especially if you have more than one, you know that they are just a small step above wild animals.  They scratch, they bite, they let out blood curdling howls. 

Tonight during dinner, JoJo marked his territory in a corner of the living room.

As of right now 4 of our 6 kids are in various stages of potty training.  And my husband and I are in various stages of euphoria or despair.

"Louise pooped!!!! She did it she pooped on the pot!!!"
"Manny just peed in the playroom...again :)"

If you haven't been through potty training yet, yes, it is just as stressful as you've heard.  It is one of those occasions in life where you have to take a leap of faith, tear off the diaper, and just hope you don't get peed on (both metaphorically and literally speaking).  So now that it is summer and we are both home to tag team the toddlers we are going for it full steam ahead.  With a Wood Family twist...

Naked potty training!  As much as possible we don't let our kids have any clothes to pee on or anything that will slow down their ability to hop on the pot and let it go.  Obviously this technique is ineffective when out in public or traveling, but so far around the house we are meeting with some success.  Just be forewarned, if you come for an unexpected visit you might get an eye-full.  And if you drive by our picture window and see four naked maniacs on display, please honk and let us know.

All 4 kids know when they have soiled a diaper and they will usually come and tell us (or take it off and abandon it in some hard to find place around the house).  All of them will at least make an effort to go pretty much every time you put them on the pot.  Louise is closest to actually trained.  She will ask to go number 1 and number 2, most of the time on most days.  Kat is probably in 2nd place.  She's not quite as consistent as Louise, but she is very eager.  Manny and JoJo....well you know, they're boys. 

One unexpected result in potty training all 4 at once has been the element of competition.  That's where the "survival of the fittest" aspect of our potty training comes into play.  When one goes, they all want to go.  And sometimes they go wild trying to be the first to go!  Kat is the worst.  She will come tearing around the corner to our bathroom, screaming her wild animal attack scream.  "Potttttyyyyyyy!!!PotttttYYYYYYYY!!!  She will literally push, punch, and bite to be the first one on the toilet.  The rest will all come clamoring in at once, elbows flying, teeth barred, toilet paper flying. Speaking of toilet paper, last week Kat was on the toilet and Louise was giving her moral support when I heard Manny screaming across the hall.  I stepped out to see who was tearing off his toenails and when I stepped back in Louise had filled the pot with an entire roll of TP.  Oh that girl!!!

 JoJo usually does some sort of acrobatic move and ends up the seat first.  He's not tall enough to take care of business standing up.  Next comes Kat because her scream is like fingernails on a chalk board and I've just got to make it stop.  Next Manny because if you make him wait he will just wander off and do his business on your carpet.  And finally poor Louise.  She has to be last because although she is the most consistent, she does like to take her time.  I expect she will become one of those bathroom novel readers :)  When every one has had their turn we have another knock down drag out fight over who gets to flush.  I cringe to think how much our water bill will be this month with all the "practice" flushing we've been doing.

Hopefully, I'll be able to report back to you in August that we have 4 more completely potty trained people roaming around our house and we are able to give them back their clothes.  But I wouldn't hold my breath.  Or my water.....hee hee hee.

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