Monday, September 9, 2013

Silly Things People Say to Large Families Full of Kids That Don't Look Like Their Parents

I read a post recently from a blog by a mom who has 4 boys and does a lot of traveling with them.  For the life of me I can't find that post, but it had to do with some of the crazy things people say to the mother when she's out and about with her boys.

So I totally identified with her post and started to think of some of the goofy things people say to me. Especially when you add two more kids and they're all different colors.  So here is my list of

Silly Things People Say to Large Families Full of Kids That Don't Look Like Their Parents

Boy you sure have you hands full!—I hear this uttered EVERY.SINGLE.TIME I leave the house with my kids.  I know in your head it seems like a clever response to the overwhelming number of kids you see squeezed into my shopping cart or crowded around my restaurant table, but not so much.

Yes, it's a terrible picture and only includes 5 of my 6 kids, but it is so hard to get them all in one shot.

You’re a regular Brad and Angelina!—That is probably the number 2 most often uttered comment.  If only I had the mansion, private drivers/cooks/housekeepers, etc, etc, of Brangelina, life would be so much easier.  Alas, we’re just regular Brian and Carrie.

Look Mama, I can fly!  I bet none of Brad and Angelina's kids can fly!!!
Are they twins? Triplets? Quadruplets?—Uh no!  Is it because they’re all black?  Look carefully people!  They do not look that much alike. And they're all different shapes and sizes.  And one of them is Chinese.

They look remarkably alike, don't you think?
So you have 5 boys and a girl?—NO NO NO! That Chinese “boy” has earrings and ladybugs all over her shirt.  And that little black “fella” also has earrings and her shorts are pink!  Go ahead and stare a little bit longer before you ask that question.

These are GIRLS!
Are they all related?—Yes, they are all mine.  No, they are not all biologically related.  This question doesn't really offend me exactly, but just imagine if I walked up to a strange woman in the grocery store and asked “So, do all you kids have the same father? Or did you sleep around a lot?” 

Oh Mama, that was a funny one!
Are they all yours? Are they US Citizens?—Yes, they are all mine, all legally adopted and finalized.  I will not be returning any of them.  And yes, they are all US Citizens.  No illegal aliens in the bunch.  I know it bothers some people that we have adopted internationally, but that is definitely a discussion for another blog post.

Do you run a daycare?—OK, pretty often we dress all of our kids in matching t-shirts.  This is simply a survival technique.  It is much easier to look for the six kids in matching shirts at the park than to try and remember what each of them was wearing when we left the house.

Where do you put them all? You must have a huge house?—Actually, no.  We have a very very small house.  Just over 1600 square feet.  We have 3 bedrooms and 2 baths.  There are triple bunk beds in each kids room.   We used to have a dining room, but now it's my More Love Mama workshop.  We used to have a garage, but now its filled with bicycles.  There is not seating for all 8 of us in the living room.  Anyone looking to downsize and wanna trade houses?

How much did it cost?  You must make a lot of money to afford all those kids!--If we made a lot of money we'd probably live in a bigger house.  I am a public school teacher in a non-union state.  My husband stays home with the kids in part because it would cost more in daycare than he would make in salary. Yes, adoption is expensive, but so is owning a car made in the last 5 years, and I bet a lot of you have one of those.  This is a very sensitive subject for most adoptive parents.  I did not buy my kids.  I paid a lot of fees to our government and to China and Congo.  I paid lawyers, and translators, and airlines, and hotels, for the privilege of parenting my amazing children.  But I did not buy my kids.

You must be so patient!—Nope, not even close.  I'm older and slower than most parents who have toddlers.  I think that sort of makes me look more patient.  But maybe I should just keep that one a secret.

OK, maybe I'm a little patient.

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