Saturday, January 5, 2013

I Resolve....Not to Make Any Resolutions!


I don't like New Year's resolutions.  The whole idea of pledging to do something that I probably don't want to do in the first place and then beating myself up because I break that pledge just stresses me out thinking about it. 

I have enough to feel guilty most normal days.  I don't need to build that into the start of a new year. 

I think I have a fear of commitment.  I don't like to join clubs, I don't like to set dates, and I don't like to make resolutions.

So, no New Year's Resolutions for me. 

I think that Brian has made some, but we haven't discussed it.  He has gotten up every morning and gone walking.  He is a much more disciplined person than me.  He has also given up taking naps.  Except, I'm pretty sure that he blew that one today when he went in to "read" in our bedroom. 

I do have some goals for this year. 

I want to sleep more.  I'm not off to a very good start on this one.  It is 12:45am as I start writing this post.  Oops.  Maybe tomorrow night.

I want to read a book.  Yes, just one.   Baby steps.  I don't think I read a book in 2012.  I know that sounds insane and lame. OK, I read two Junie B. Jones books out loud to Grace and Haven in December, but they probably actually made me stupider! I used to be a voracious reader.  At least an hour every night before bed.  Two or three books a week.  But other things pushed into my reading time.  And by bedtime most nights I just drop into bed and pass out.  I read lots of blogs and Facebook posts, but that's not exactly the same thing now is it. 

I want to have really red hair again. I might get that one knocked out tonight.

I want to like my job more. I've really struggled with that in the last couple of years. I'm having a hard time finding the value in what I do. I feel like I should be out on the mission field or working full time to improve the lives of orphans around the world.

I want to get back to an almost vegetarian diet. I would rather eat less meat and eat more cookies.

I want to blog more. At least twice a week. Even better would be every other day. But sometimes I just can't think of anything to write about. Anything special you'd like me blog about???

I want to continue to grow my More Love Mama business. Nothing relaxes me like the hum of my Singer. And I LOVE when someone likes something that I've made well enough to buy it. I have a hundred ideas for new things I want to make and 15 new fabrics to share, with more on the way. Any special requests? I know I have at least one Christmas tree skirt in my future.


I want to spend more time with my kids making special little memories.  Unfortunately, we have been mostly trapped in our house by the cold rainy weather that has been with us everyday of this new year so outdoor fun is out.  This morning everyone finger painted together in the kitchen (this was Brian's idea--I think he started drinking early today).   Yesterday, Grace and Haven frosted sugar cookies.  Last night we cuddled on the couch and watched Tangled (best Disney movie ever).  What should we do with my last day of Christmas vacation (yes, that's the sound of my uncontrolable weeping over the end of my break)?

Mostly this year, I want to feel content.  I have struggled for months with a sense of what next.  I need to just fill my brain with here and now.  I've done that for the last hour with Grace.  Everyone else is asleep.  She's been sitting on my lap, laughing talking and rocking and snuggling.  She's struggling again with being the only "yellow" kid in the house.  So we talked about all the things that she and I have in common.  Our straight hair, our pink lips, our squinty smiles.  It is amazing really how much we do have in common from a personality point of view.  I hope some of my contentment at this particular moment will flow over into her and to the rest of my year. 

So, no resolutions for me.  Hope this stuff all happens, but if not c'est la vie!

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