Friday, November 18, 2011

Who is the idiot....?

Who is the idiot who invented......
  • Onsie pajamas with sleeves that are skinnier than a baby fist.
  • Sippy cups that leak.
  • Unscented baby wipes.  These butts need all the scent they can get!
  • Toddler shoes with laces.  Give me more velcro.
  • Baby gates that are too complicated for adults to open.
  • Children's toys that have volume settings.  All children's toys should be set at LOW volume.
  • Toys that talk if you touch them.  Doesn't that scare the poop out of you when you trip on one in the middle of the night!
  • Any toy with more than 3 pieces.
  • Toddler pants with zippers and snaps.  More elastic please.
  • Strollers too wide to get in the door of a building (or buildings with skinny doors).
  • The pillow pet.  They without fail will come apart at the seams and leak fuzz all over your house.
  • Light beige carpet.
  • Couches with removable cushions.
  • Children's washable markers.  Washable--my big fanny!!!
  • Lollipops.  Candy on a stick is just a messy disaster waiting to happen.
  • White countertops and white tile floors in kitchens.
  • Red fruit drinks.
  • Wooden stacking blocks.  An obvious weapon.
  • Sidewalk chalk--also known as wall chalk.
  • Toys that are meant to be stuck to the refrigerator.  What in the world do you want the kids in the kitchen for???
  • Dining room chairs with fabric seats.
  • Safety latches for cabinet doors that allow JoJo to get his arm inside, but not mine.

And the idiot who purchased all these items.  Yep, that's me.
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