Friday, October 9, 2009

They See That Your Defenses Are Down and Then They Strike!!!

How could anyone want to hurt that face???

Or that one???

She looks innocent enough...


seems sweet....


But those aren't pigtails, they're Grendel horns!!!
(as in Beowulf!!!)



I got the flu last week, on Thursday. Had fever and body aches all weekend. Called in sick on Monday and Wednesday. Just felt awful. Brian got it starting around Wednesday. More body aches, fever, cough. On top of catching this dread disease, Brian's parents were coming into town this weekend for Haven's 1st birthday. Brian let them know that the house was contaminated and they should come at their own risk, but Ione needed a grandbaby fix, so they arrived last night.

So here is the sinister evil baby taking over the world part (it is a two part story): Brian is doing some last minute picking up for parents arrival. He feels like poop, but doesn't want the house to look like poop! So while he is picking up, the kids are playing quietly in the living room. He goes into the bathroom and from the living he can hear Haven screaming in desperation. He runs back in to find Grace has Haven pinned to the ground. She is sitting on his chest and pinching his cheeks. No, not in a "what an adorable baby you are, Haven" sort of way. More like a "I can't believe my parents have ruined my life with a baby brother and a I am going to peel the skin off your face" sort of way. Isn't she a cutie?

But there's more! Once Brian thinks the house is not too embarrassing and he is about to collapse from the fever he now has, he stops to lay down for just a minute on the couch. The kids are again playing together, Haven has forgiven Grace for her violent outburst earlier in the day! I'm still not home from work, but Brian dozes off on the couch. Grace sees her window of opportunity. She clearly has been planning this attack for weeks. Just laying in wait for a vulnerable parent moment. She takes out the purple felt tip marker that she has stashed for just such an opportunity (really neither of us have any idea where the marker came from, she must have acquired it on the black market) and she let loose all her two year old wrath......on our light beige carpet. That's right, she drew a long purple line all the way from the master bedroom, across the living room and over to the kitchen. And no, it didn't come out!!!
Incidentally, if Ihad known I was going to have children (or a poodle with an eating disorder who pukes if you look at him wrong, poodle puke comes out about as well as purple marker) I would never have chosen the beige carpet. I guess it is time to invest in a very large area rug with a very busy print!
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